i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
