Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
