I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Its about making memories worth repressing
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
