i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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