So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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