so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
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I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
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Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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