when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
that's an acceptable place to lick
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
