Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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