Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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