White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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