Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
