Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
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Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
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My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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