im about as happy as oj after his trial
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
