great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My vagina just clenched in fear
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
