Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
