the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news