i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.