I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
