it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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