WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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