Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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