Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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