dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
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I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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