direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize