Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
