I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
