remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
