Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
