If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
