so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
