she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
