She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
