I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
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Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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