I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
