Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
