i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
