I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
