I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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