I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
