my mouth tastes like poor choices
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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