just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
