I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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