You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
