Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
