You really coming over, don't trick.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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