so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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