somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
