I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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