I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
