Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
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i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
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also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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