exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
