I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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