I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize