She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
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