Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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