your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just found puke in my bra..
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
