Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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