I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
