News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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