Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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