You can't motorboat a personality
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
