don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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