do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
