What a fucking waste of an outfit
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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